Happy holidays! So right after I got my license I decided to embark on something. Wanted to make short film by attending courses but FMDS cease their film making course and SAE syllabus is too vague. Spenting $1.2k to make a 2 min video is definitely not worth it. So end up i took a basic photography course for hobby sake. But turns out I learned a lot about the technical aspect of the camera and also visual composition which was very helpful.
This sg50 long weekend wanted to catchup with a few of my friends who I got to meet up last year. I wanted to take this opportunity to take some photos as well. But none of them was free. So in the end I stayed home and wrote a script. The more I write the more I feel the story is not up to standard. Like how to I write something with no dialogue in it? it is as good as writing a novel or how do I write something that can be made possible into a film? Like buses and cafe and minor characters here and there which makes it interesting and yet so challenging to script them. I guess i need to start reading more script as well.
The Chinese new year break probably makes me understand who are my closest friends. These close friends are ones that I always make the effort to hang out. But this long weekend probably makes me even realised how insignificant I can be. Well I once saw the article on facebook that says your true friends don't really check their schedule to see if they are available. They always make their love ones the priorities, something along that line. I feel that I'm always the one making effort in keeping relationship till I streamlined down to just a couple of close friends.
During the weekend I was messaging B. Asked him if he wanted to hang out for a couple hours, take photos and have meals together. Probably will not take up the whole day, maybe just 4 hours? He said he is too busy with upcoming personal projects. B has no boss, no deadline and no clients to answer to. Like hello, no 4 hours to spare? I remember how he was feeling down and message that me that he wanted to hang out last year and I never spare a thought spent my whole afternoon that day to accompany him to chill out and do nothing.
Then it is was G who I messaged 2 weeks ago to accomodate his schedule to hangout coz he is working during the weekend. G agreed and the night before I messaged him for confirmation as I was prepared he will pang seh which he did during the chinese new year period. What happens during the chinese new year period was first he agreed on watching movie, then he wanted to change the plan because he forgot he got dinner at home and a jogging appointment with a friend. So we met to eat and agreed to watch movie another time which he never reply. Like hello again? you can always jog another time?! and dinner at home is common?! and why u can pang seh me and not your jogging friend? Fast forward 6months later. Truly indeed I got pang seh. He replied sorry can't make it blah blah blah... and this time i did not reply at all. Same case with B.
Sounds damn loser me but I really can't stand these kind of people anymore. Like I can make so much sacrifice for them but they treat you like a nobody. It always happens during the holidays. Many years ago I would have vent my frustrations outwardly on them but now I'm taking it more lightly and letting it go. Just that things get even worse. I need to learned to survive alone. And like maybe wait for these people to message me and pang seh them song song so i will feel better because I know I can do without them. It can be hard sometimes because you feel that you have nothing to look forward to.
I need to learned how to adjust. This is a spiritual warfare for me. Dear Lord, please help me, I pray that you will send genuine friends to walk with me this difficult journey on Earth. I hope the friends i made in the future that I could develop more deeper friendship. I really pray for kingdom friends that we can build one another up. At the same time I thank you for bringing me friends that once we hold the relationship so dear and have helped me so much. Though they come and go but I know they were sent by you Lord to accompany and delivered me. It has strengthen my faith and I pray that you will help me understand your ways and your will and sometimes you want to take away friendship to protect me and propel me to greater heights. Help me to understand no matter my situation that I'm still blessed and loved by you. Thank you Shepherd. Amen! Cheers!
