Decided to penned down my thoughts to make things official. About 2 years ago I had the thought of wanting to be a cabin crew (CC) with SIA. I decided to go for the interview after I get my driving license last year. After I got my license I procrastinated for awhile just to get to the right state of mind where I can gathered my courage, willing to give up acting and filming and leave my social circle to be focus for this job and just be at peace with my decision. That took almost 6 months. I only started going for the interview early this year. I have been to the interview 6 times. I went all the way to the management round 2 times. After I turned 29, I have never got passed the debating round.
I want to make it official that I will not be attending the interview sessions anymore after the coming one. It will be last one and that's it. If I get in I get in, if not no hard feelings. It think it will be a relief from the anticipation leading to the interview week, the intense moment where you wait for your results and the nervousness in the interview process.
I still want to keep the dream of being able to fly and travel the world alive but it will be different from being able to do it as a CC now. Many friends have advised to fly or try other airlines. I kept my options open be it trying prestigious or budget airline. But the feeling of donning your country's carrier uniform, representing your country is just different. I think to go aboard now and try to adapt another country's culture over a long period is probably not the right time. I just felt the timing just didn't suit me. So that leaves many airlines like Emirates, Qatar, Cathay and JAL out. I'm 29 and turning 30 soon. If I would be employed I will give my very best and work very hard serving the company. If not, I think it's the right time to move on. I may be labelled as the guy that never makes it to SIA but its okie. I will not be defined by this.
I still want to do acting and finished up my feature length script and produce it. Having make it official I think I'm not going to sit around and wait for the next interview dates anymore. It is probably time for me to see what better opportunities are out there for me.
Will I regret not going for the interview earlier? or better prepare myself when I was selected for management round? It is tough thinking about it but there is nothing I can do now. I have to say goodbyes in the right way. Not a decision that I make lightly. I think I would be able to learned alot from being a CC. About personal grooming, quality of life and many positive values. My dad, who I have never seen wearing formal wear, my grandmum who never understands why ironing shirt and keeping things neat and clean is important and my uncle who never put hearts into cooking. Not that it is bad but I always feel we as human can do better and not be mediocre in the way we lived our lives.
Having said that I'm just immensely grateful that I got to make it to the management round back to back. Constantly telling myself not to give up and to keep trying again after each failed attempt. Hearing how some applicants tried over 10 times and finally landing the dream job is heartening. The thought of going through all the interview process is not nice.After awhile I just felt this entire ordeal had make me got used to failing. I become comfortable being rejected, partly also because I never knew why I always fail the interview. But I have to start making decision that will work towards the path of success again. Thus my decision. I always had this apprehensive feeling when I passed the different stages. A voice always there to questioned me if this is what I really want? I would always go ahead with doubts. The feeling is different from when I take up film or acting assignments. I guess that doubts translated in my outlook during the management round and they might feel that I do not have the right personality or attitude for the job. I too cannot imagined myself handling difficult passengers or serving rude people.
That would mean that I will be continuing to doing freelance acting and filming but also I felt its time for me to be a little selfish for myself. Often times sitting at home I tell myself I'm not going to be an extra anymore. I don't want people to remember me as extra, split second appearance and for some bad performances. From now on I will be even more selective in the projects I do, more direct in my opinion. I'm prepared to get lesser opportunities and make more enemies now but I have been too nice to people who have walked all over me.
I need to start thinking what is next for me. I cannot be doing extra all the time. I think there is a greater purpose and higher calling for me as it is for everyone.
Having said all these. I'm proud of how far I have come. I have been honest and as real as I can be. Not been pretentious or me trying to be someone I am not.
